


Dancing In The Dark

by ShippingEruri (shippingeruri), Zeds_Dead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ballroom Dancing, Blow Jobs, Competitive Dancing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff with a bit of Smut :D, Hand Jobs, LLF Comment Project, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Rimming, Secret Relationship, Strained Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:50:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingeruri/pseuds/ShippingEruri, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead
Summary: Keeping a relationship a secret is one thing. Maintaining a relationship and keeping it going needs work. But if everything piles up and the communication comes to a halt, what would you do?





	1. Letter One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kittyboo98](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyboo98/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Kitty <3  
> Modern au Eruri fic, heavy influenced by Imagine Dragons lyrics with fluff and feelings and smut ? Hell yeah - what would be a better present for your birthday?
> 
> I came up with this idea but knew that my schedule wouldn't allow me to write a full fic for you. So I asked Zed if she would be in on this present and here we are. We really hope you like it! We had a lot of fun writing it : ) Keep the way you are, you are a wonderful human being and we both are so happy to you have you around : )
> 
> Erwin ~ shippingeruri  
> Levi ~ Zeds_Dead
> 
> ***
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject) whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and will reply to:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
> 


It was the worst day this year so far.

 

Flight missed due to heavy flooding. Laptop dropped and shattered as they ran and tried to catch the flight (and yet missed it). Mobile locked because Hanji had tried to unlock it while they were waiting for their next flight home. She had taken the opportunity when Erwin had excused himself to the bathroom and of course failed to enter the correct code. Now Erwin would need to find the shitty backup code when he would be back home.

 

There was no way to contact Levi, inform him about his delay. Erwin felt like shit and just wanted to be home. The tournament was good, especially if one considers that he and Hanji were above 30 now and their competitors were in their mid twenties.

 

Yet, he just wanted to be with Levi, wanted to be home.

 

Home was another place than what 99% of the people in Erwin's life assumed it was. It was not the spacious, expensive, luxury penthouse flat with a roof terrace that provided a view on the canals of Amsterdam – paid by his agency.

His real home was a cosy, lovely furnished 3 bedroom flat in one of the side roads near the city centre. A place that he and Levi had chosen carefully three years ago when they had their second anniversary, an anniversary that nobody was aware of besides the two men themselves.

 

Their relationship was a secret. Not because they were ashamed or wouldn't want to make it official, but their careers made it quite difficult.

 

Professional dancing was quite a rough place. Knowing the right people, playing the right cards and playing the role that society expected were more important than talent. Talent was the base, everything else was personality, character and looks. It sucked but they were both so deep into it and they both loved dancing from the bottom of their hearts.

 

When they were younger they both danced for fun, each on their own. Their talent got discovered and in Erwin's late teens he started to participate in tournaments. This was also when he and Levi met for the first time.

 

Erwin was well educated and spoke English way above the average German teenager in his age group – and yet, Levi would mock him about it. There was this competitive atmosphere – fuelled by their trainers, by the press and later on by the agencies that would dictate a great deal of their lives.

 

Since Erwin was a few years older than the absolutely talented Levi, he was the one that kept a cool head until the end and led him and Hanji to victory. This went on for a few years – each encounter heating up the rivalry between them more. Sometimes Levi and Petra would win, sometimes Erwin and Hanji would claim the title.

 

Erwin's biggest talent was the waltz and he would specialise on the ballroom dances while Levi clearly had the fire for the Latin American dances, so they didn't see each other again on tournaments in the next years. At least they didn't see each other in the flesh – but it was very rare that they missed the live stream of the tournament of the other. They both knew about the talent the other one had and they were of course curious about their development.

 

It was six years ago when they met again. Two dance events were held in Amsterdam at the same time and the after show parties for both events got combined. Rivals, both established in their field of dancing, both men in their 20s now, actually talked to one another, complimenting the success of the other. The chatter got interrupted by agents that wouldn't want them to be seen together – for the image of them being competitive, looking down on the other should be held up. It was good publicity if they stayed rivals but they didn't care. Nobody had to know.

 

So they exchanged mobile numbers in the bathroom and soon a friendship developed. From daily chit chat about jurors, other dancers, the floor at certain locations, it soon went on to favourite bands, movies, book, family matters, dreams, hopes and fears.

 

They started to Skype on a regular basis – no matter the time zone. Erwin and Hanji attended tournaments in the USA and a week later, Levi and Petra would be in Argentina. It was quite a stressful time – both being international pros in their disciplines and still trying to live a civil life.

 

And when they met again on the same event, one year later, there were butterflies and nervousness, sweaty palms and dry mouths. Seeing the other one again felt different after all that they had shared. Erwin didn't actually feel like meeting a friend again, but meeting the person he'd fallen in love with. And so did Levi.

 

They started 'dating'. Quite difficult, considering their packed schedules and the expectations everyone had. Erwin and Hanji had somehow ended up not only a dance couple but mimicking real lovers. It was absurd since Hanji was like a sister to Erwin and she obviously felt the same towards him. But their agents demanded it, set up fancy dinners in expensive restaurants, booked holidays for them and rented them this luxurious apartment where they should live officially – and above all: dropped hints about everything for the press.

 

When the plane landed in Amsterdam there were paparazzi that wanted to get some nice pictures of the couple and so Hanji and Erwin gave them some practised poses, smiling all lovey-dovey, holding hands, exchanging shy kisses.

 

They got picked up by their agents and dropped off at the luxury complex. Hanji actually lived there but Erwin had told her that he wanted to have his peace and quiet. So far she didn't ask where he was really living, just asking him to promise he didn't do anything illegal.

 

He waited until the paparazzi were gone and then took a taxi to his and Levi's flat that was rented under Mike's name. Erwin had told his best friend that he wanted to have a place that nobody knew about and the deal was set.

 

It was quiet in the apartment, only their cat, Pix, greeting him with husky meows as he took off his shoes and bent down to pet the quite fat cat.

 

“Hey Pix.” He spoke with a gentle smile and in return received a rough cat tongue licking on his palm.

 

“Did Levi not feed you before he left?”, Erwin asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

 

The bowl was empty but there was a paper on the counter.

 

_“Don't trust fatty. I fed him.”_

 

Erwin had to laugh as he gave Pix quite a look.

 

“You sneaky animal. Worth a try at least...” and he received another meow in return from the three coloured cat.

 

He pulled his suitcase in, hung up his dancing outfits on hangers and put on a laundry wash. He would take the outfits to the dry cleaning tomorrow before he would leave again in two days. It was high season for tournaments and he and Levi hardly had any chance to see each other for more than a few hours if they were overlapping at all.

 

And Erwin just had managed to fuck up one of those rare encounters.

 

With a sigh he wandered over to Levi's side of the bed and took the pillow. The last time they had slept here together was about a week ago and they even managed to have an argument. It had been unnecessary. Something about bringing down the trash and cleaning Pix's toilet. One accusing the other of failing his duties and when things heated up, more accusations were thrown in. A normal fight that every couple would have. Nothing too serious, yet unpleasant.

Erwin was the one who had ended the argument because he didn't want to fight with Levi a few hours before he would fly to Paris. He wanted to embrace his lover, feel him, touch him, kiss him.

 

Yet he didn't, because Levi didn't want to. But they fell asleep cuddling, murmurs of “I love you” on both their lips.

 

With a smile he buried his face in the pillow, inhaling his lover's scent. A mixture of lemon, rain, grass, peach and flowers. Unique and wonderful.

 

On the coffee table in front of the sofa he found another note:

_“I guess you missed your flight? But why's your mobile switched off and why do you not reply to my email?_

_You performance was stunning as always._

_I love you._

_Levi”_

~~~

 

The next morning he started to search for the backup code for his mobile but couldn't find it. After going through every single drawer, box and place that this shitty piece of paper could have been, he gave up. He'd probably thrown it away when packing boxes to move here with Levi.

 

For a moment he considered to do a hard reset but he would lose all pictures of him and Levi on it. No backup – for security reasons – so this was not an option.

 

A short trip to the dry-cleaning service around the corner, a quick visit at Hanji's with a brief practise of some of the movements they weren't too familiar with yet and then he went back home.

 

Even without his mobile, he knew exactly when Levi would be seen on the live stream, so thanks to the internet stick on their TV, Erwin was able to watch his boyfriend perform.

 

Just in time he sat down on the sofa and once more was blown away by Levi's rigour and charisma...

 

~~~

After Erwin had picked up his dancing outfits again, packed his suitcase, had taken a shower and fed Pix, he placed an envelope with Levi's name on it on the coffee table and left. When his boyfriend would get home a few hours later, he could read the following:

 

_My dear Levi,_

_This might be the first time since my childhood that I'm actually writing a letter by hand. I've never written a 'love letter' before either, so consider this a premier in more than one way._

_I'm so incredibly sorry that I didn't contact you or reply to your mail. I dropped my laptop while Hanji and me tried to get our flight but we missed it. And then Hanji was trying to unlock my phone, failed and now it's locked. I can't find the back up code. I know this sounds like the script of a really cheesy movie but please believe me._

_You'll find my mobile on the kitchen counter – should you have any idea where we've put those backup codes, please feel free to unlock my phone._

_Oh and while I'm writing this, Pix is begging for food, although I just fed him an hour ago. We really should try to find some diet food for him or buy a treadmill and force him to walk on it._

_When I came home last night our neighbourhood watch was on its duty again... the old couple from across the street couldn't believe how late I got home. I still think that they believe that we are just renting this apartment together to save some money. Gay people in this area? Never!_

_Thank you for the note on the coffee table – it's good to hear that you value my 'old man' dancing, as you like to call the ballroom dances. I start feeling old this season indeed – not because of my body but because of my competitors. They are all younger than me, younger than you and I feel like they deliver a completely different atmosphere while dancing. Fresh, vibrant, dynamic and yet perfectly fitting for the ballroom dances. It's like they take the fire of the Latin American dances to our long dresses and sweeping movements. And to me it feels like Hanji and I are dropping out sooner than we might think._

_Speaking of 'fire'... you performance was marvellous as always. Brilliant to watch. I'd take a guess and say that you made some women in the audience very happy. And I'd love to show up at one of your events and experience this live again... but the risk is too big, I guess. I mean we've discussed this several times and if we want to be what we are at the moment, we can not risk to be seen at the same event without a good reason._

_Petra is so lucky to have you as her partner. The rhythm is in your blood, you feel the music, can adapt to every new beat within a split second, change your figures within the blink of an eye – it's stunning. I'm truly mesmerised whenever I see you dancing._

_But it's not only the way you dance, it's your whole presence, the aura that you create. Your outfits are always on point, perfectly harmonising with Petra's dresses. Your body looks beautiful, your legs move so fast and yet coordinated. It's definitely an advantage that you are not that tall. And may I tell you how wonderful and seducing your ass is? I don't think that's something new to hear from me... but watching you dance gives me another perception for you and your body._

_Your arms are strong, leading Petra, holding on to her but at the same time giving her freedom. Your upper body is in the perfect angle, strong, every muscle knowing what is has to do. Your shoulders – just mindblowing– Petra can hold on to you, you re-assure her movements and yet she is not giving away all lead. I can see that even on the screen. And that is wonderful because the woman has a way more important role in Latin American dances compared to ballroom dancing._

_You neck gets in line with your ass – I'd love to touch it, caress it, lick it, kiss it, bite it, suck it, mark it. If I'd do that, the jurors would for sure decrease their rating due to your lack of professionalism and everyone would believe it was Petra's doing. Your agent would kill you. The latest instruction was: play the bachelor that has taken an interest in his dance partner but still give the fans hope? Or has anything changed about that?_

_Oh how much I'd wish one could survive in this business without managers and agents..._

_But let me get back to you, the man I love, and his stunning looks while dancing._

_I really think you chin is cute. Sorry – I'm not sorry. You know how much I like to nibble on your chin or tickle it – and even when you dance, your chin still is cute. But the overall facial expression is so different and so much more._

_The way your jaws are working while you switch from seductive smiles over wetting your lips to getting really close to Petra. Wow that is just... it's hard to describe._

_Your eyes, your nose, your lips, everything is just perfect. You have annexed the ways of Latin American dancing like nobody else that is not Latin American that I've ever seen. You play with everyone in the room as well as with the audience behind their screens. There's so much passion, desire, heat and sex appeal between you and Petra, you and the jurors, you and the audience – and even when I'm sitting here, just watching a 720p stream, I can't deny that I'd love to touch you in a very much inappropriate way..._

_I'm addicted to you and it's not because of your looks. I can't deny that I love your body, your face, your hair – everything about you. But what makes me the happiest man on this planet is your heart and soul._

_I love you, Levi. I really do, with all my heart. Every day with you in my life is a better day and I can't imagine a life without you._

_If I think back to our first encounter... oh god I wanted to kill you. You were ... 14 years old maybe and you were really mean to me. For no particular reason. But then our managers totally got on that train and the whole “Germany vs. England” PR began. God, how I hated it. But we both played it. For our dream..._

_And then my dream became a different one. I wanted to get to know you after I'd seen every single one of your performances and I probably had a crush on you ten years ago already. You fascinated me and when we finally met again... you really were mesmerising. Thank you for sneaking to the bathroom with me back then and giving me your number. The year that followed made me really happy. That was six years ago..._

_And these five years that 'we' have been what we are, are definitely the best in my life so far. If only we had other circumstances to cherish the love we have. I don't know why but I guess it's got something to do with you and the way you hypnotise me. I never would have thought that I'd be capable to live a 'hidden' relationship. It's dangerous nevertheless, and I would lie if I'd say that I didn't want to take you on a date, go eating with you, go to a concert, spend a vacation with you – things that couples normally do._

_And now that I've faced my latest opponents in my career, I'm almost at a point where I want so say: Fuck it. I want to be together with you, no more hide and seek. Show my love to you, let everyone know how much I desire you._

_But I know that you are not willing to go this step yet, and I respect that._

_Your career is at its peak at the moment and when you fly to Argentina in a few weeks, I'd love to be there, cheer for you, see you, feel you. And yet I know this would break your neck and this is the last thing I want. So I'll try to catch you here as often as possible until then. In eight weeks everything will go back to normal for a while. I'll work more for Mike then, you'll continue your PhD and yet... we still have to pretend to not love, like or even know each other. And honestly... I don't know how long I can go on like this without starting to suffer. But I will endure as long as you want to mesmerise people around the world with your dancing. Because I love you and seeing you happy is one of the greatest joys in my life._

_Your smile, your beautiful smile is something that can turn my day around completely. Our 'silly selfie' in the living room really makes me smile like an idiot every time I look at it. And probably I am an idiot._

_Jesus... why am I even writing so much? I just wanted to give you a short note why I was not available and congratulate you on your performance? And now I'm... what... ten pages in and my wrist starts to hurt... but now that I'm about it... there's another thing I might bring up while I'm at it._

_I love you Levi, with all my heart. So please don't take this too 'serious'. But lately I've gotten the impression that we are starting to have more and more of those unnecessary problems and arguments that are perfectly normal if you are living together with someone. I know that it is partly my fault, yes and I want to apologise if my behaviour upsets you._

_Another thing is that the amount and content of 'fan post' gets to a point where I'm getting concerned. I trust you. And so far you've given me no reason to believe different. But especially with our 'daily problems' showing up and – pardon to say it so bluntly – our sex life not being at its best, I honestly feel like there is a possibility that you might get tempted. You are 28, beautiful and handsome, you can have everyone from 18 to 80 that you want within the blink of an eye. And here I am. 32, problems with my knee, by far not as striking as you in appearance and somehow thinking that I might no longer make you as happy as I used to? You've turned me down quite often in the last weeks and I respect that. There are also times when you are in the mood and I'm not. Nothing wrong with that but nevertheless I honestly am a bit afraid especially since we won't be seeing each other that much in the next weeks._

_6 years since we met again, 5 years relationship, 3 years living together. That is quite a long time and I want to tell you once more how much I love you. But the overall situation might stress us both more than we might be willing to admit. Hiding, always being at risk – what for? I'm happy with you and yes, I love dancing, I love it with all my heart. But for me, the competitive tournaments are – honestly – no longer my métier. This will probably be my last season. And this doesn't mean that I'm no longer willing to dance. But do you know how much I'd love to dance with you? Take you to New York or Sydney, to Tokyo or Buenos Aires, to London or Vienna and buy tickets for a “casual ball” and dance the whole night with you?_

_I'm sorry. This sounds like I'm blaming you and I don't. Because we met in a time of our life where competitive dancing was and still is everything to you and to me. But I've more and more come to the realisation that you as my partner, as the person I love, are more important than this show business. And since I love you, I'll be what you need me to be for as long as you want me to be that something._

_Please, don't take this as critique, I'm just … a bit drunk and probably lonely at the moment. I miss your voice and I miss your touch, your kiss and the way your fingers run over my neck. And I do wish for a 'normal' relationship more and more. Especially with our perfectly fine problems occurring. We have nobody to talk about our relationship than you and me._

_Let me end this now – I feel like an asshole for writing pages and pages of words, my handwriting looking like shit and you will come home, find this and then have to deal with an old man's drunken words. I should go to sleep anyway. My flight goes as 1 PM and it already is 3 AM. Have to be at Hanji's at 9 AM._

_If I'm not mistaken you have one day off in between? If you can't find my backup codes, can you maybe buy me a new mobile? Nothing fancy, I just want to be able to call you, write with you, see your face._

_I miss you, your pillow smells like you and you've been on my mind all the time. I love you, Levi. You are wonderful and your performance today (or when you read this: yesterday) was wonderful. Please know that although I can sometimes be annoying or stressful (or an old man), I have no bad intention. I only want you to be happy._

_I love you._

_Erwin_


	2. Letter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zed here, happy birthday Kitty!!!!

There hadn't been enough time for the dust to settle, no chance of the foreign odours which came with an apartment left unoccupied for days and as Levi closed the door softly, he cursed under his breath.

"Fuck."

He tossed his keys to one side, passport fished out from the back pocket of tight dark blue jeans and that too was placed on the counter, a small pile of what summed up his life right now - never ending travel, long periods away from home, always ready to go again. Levi had one whole day before the next flight, a seamless march of journey after journey, stale air conditioned jet planes and unfamiliar faces. It was in moments of introspection like this where he really could see himself saying 'sod it' and packing the whole thing in but by the time his feet would be sliding across another dancefloor, all of that was destined to become a distant memory.

In the here and now though, Levi found it hard to escape the emptiness and fatigue he felt inside, couldn't ignore the beat of his heart which sounded so hollow when alone, when apart from one other soul, one he'd not been gracious enough with the last time they'd been together.

"Fucking idiot."

He chided himself, shoes clunking to the floor in heavy thuds that alerted the rotund feline who lived here. Clicks of claws announced the entry of Pix, a slow lolloping waddle and a swinging fuzz of stomach greeting Levi along with a fractured mewl of appreciation.

"Alright?"

Levi never felt stupid for speaking to their cat, took solace from the companionship in an otherwise abandoned house and he bent with effort, trimmed nails scratching deftly under his pet's upturned chin. He received a satisfied expression in return and a deep purr, wordless thanks the best he would get today. Levi straightened and moved to the kitchen, followed eagerly all the way as Pix wound in and out of his legs, fur being transferred to neat denims. Even for someone so light on their toes, Levi still faltered under the swaying cat and tripped through the apartment.

"Ok ok, I get it. You're happy to fucking see me. Anyone would think you hadn't eaten in weeks."

Schedules allowed the couple to look after Pix alone, no need for anyone to visit and Levi trashed the dry pet biscuits, opened the refrigerator to mull over what was on offer. He opted for a salmon pouch, moist chunks flaked into a new bowl as greedy paws stretched up to the counter's surface.

"Oi! Be patient. Damn cat."

Once Pix had been hushed by food, Levi tutted softly at the absolute savage way in which the cat devoured it's meal, pausing to watch as fish became stuck to long whiskers.

"Disgusting."

He meant no harm, in fact found something warming in the display - it reminded him of Erwin, not necessarily a messy eater but an absent-minded one. That brought a concern to mind, the lack of contact from his partner and silver eyes scanned the kitchen, a place which usually saw a lot of activity if they were here together. Levi's gaze landed on a black lump, instantly recognisable as Erwin's phone and he picked the device up, buttons pressed but nothing happened; it had either run out of battery or suffered a cataclysmic process error, both good reasons for the radio silence.

With a weary sigh Levi inspected the contents of the ice box, choosing a frozen tub of left-overs for his meal, something which had originally been cooked as a couple and yet again that heavy mass weighed down on him, made it hard to breathe. Mechanical motions set the microwave timer and Levi moved to the living area, turning a lamp and the TV on for company. Whilst clearing a space on the coffee table for his dinner, he spotted an envelope and froze. It wasn't just any envelope, it was thick and stuffed full of god knows how many pages, addressed to him in Erwin's recognisable writing.

Levi swallowed, his throat dry and stomach suddenly ten times lower than it had been as a sickening roll lurched through his innards. This could only be a bad thing, he decided and rushed to pour a glass of wine, a generous helping indeed and Levi stood at the kitchen counter, glaring over at the letter with distrust. Of course their argument had been a silly one, however he knew that it could've ended a lot sooner if he'd only stopped being so fucking stubborn.

It was in Levi's nature to be abrasive, a trait that Erwin had managed to soften around the edges over the years but now...now it had crept back in and he didn't know why. The buzzing microwave peeped, cooking complete and Levi dished it up with trembling hands, food and wine delivered to the table in cautious steps. The couch felt entirely uncomfortable like nails had torn through the fabric, poking and prying to show Levi just how much he should be suffering right now and he agreed, accepting his penance along with the burden of guilt.

Each mouthful he took was slow and steady, purely eating out of necessity - Levi had to keep his strength up regardless of how wretched he felt inside. Flying in from Madrid today then leaving again for Brussels in just over twenty four hours…sustenance remained key, despite the cardboard taste in his mouth and protesting gag reflex.

The longer he stared at the envelope the more Levi's bile rose, Erwin's inevitable 'I think it's time we saw other people' waiting to be read and he somehow managed to gulp the last morsel, a flash of fright turning his skin icy cool.

What if Erwin had packed already? Left his phone intentionally? What if the wardrobes were empty, one toothbrush missing from the pot, a single bathrobe instead of two, perhaps one photograph of them taken for nostalgia's sake?

Pure panic took Levi's heart in it's deathly grip and squeezed tight, a remorseful sound of anguish trickling like molasses from his mouth and he sprung up, scaring the shit out of Pix in the process who fled to safer territory whilst his shortest owner ran in the opposite direction.

Pale hands wrenched the beech closet doors open and Levi couldn't bear to look at first, squeezed his eyes shut and took a few deep breaths, the scent of Erwin filling his nostrils and melting him to the core. Whatever it takes. That was Levi's new mantra if by any chance the cupboards were not empty and he stamped down the urge to vomit, lids lifting a fraction at a time.

An exhale of relief was pushed from his tense mouth with a whistle - all of Erwin's clothes hung there as should be, neat and tidy. Check one was over and Levi swept to the en-suite, noted two toothbrushes and various toiletries still in attendance. Good. His heart rate was returning to base line, initial distress seeping away until a new horror story built itself in Levi's brain, held tight and wouldn't leave until one last thing had been found, one item which Erwin would never leave without.

The clothing and bathroom contents could be replaced or collected at a later date, however there was a singular box that Levi knew had such importance and he dropped to his knees, shuffling an arm under the bed and praying to anything that his fingers would find their goal.

_Please please please please please_

"Yes!"

His yell took him by surprise, Pix too if the sudden activity in the adjoining room was anything to go by but Levi smiled nonetheless, brown box pulled out and opened. Each letter and photograph remained, the memories of Erwin's father safely interred and Levi relaxed, persuaded now that their relationship hadn't reached such an horrendous low.

"So what's in the envelope?"

There was only one way to find out and Levi collapsed onto the couch, fluffy cushions providing a gentler sensation than before and he downed the remaining wine, Pix now curled up by his side. Soothing rumbles from the cat helped to ease any previous anguish, Levi's hand steadier as he reached out to take the long letter.

It made him smile, blush, feel terrible yet lifted at the same time, a collection of Erwin's words seeming to be spoken out loud by the man himself as Levi could hear the voice he knew so well, the faint accent which lingered, deep and seductive tones. He shivered, reading again about how Erwin had sniffed his pillow and he gave a small heartfelt laugh.

"You dopey sentimental bastard."

Levi decided to compose a reply while it was all still fresh in his mind, letter and empty glass taken to the kitchen. He sourced paper and a pen, dragged the breakfast bar stool over and filled his drink again, preferring to sit up here than hunch over the coffee table. Levi wondered where Erwin wrote his. Was it all in one go? Over the course of an evening? In bed?

Blue ink started to flow like from nowhere, the sentences manifesting as Levi poured as much emotion as he found possible into his response, the usual sarcasm and crass language not omitted. It had to be from Levi, after all.

_'Erwin._

_First things first, don't make me shit myself like that again. I'm not old enough for adult diapers just yet. I thought you were fucking leaving me._

_Second, don't ever let Hanji near electrical equipment. Or yourself, for that matter. You two truly are the perfect couple in that sense. And while we're being all mushy and complimentary, I can't wait to watch you on TV tomorrow. The way you command that entire dance floor is fucking orgasmic. Did I just write that? Fuck it. Yes I did._

_I'm no good with words like you are. I guess it's all the extra years you have on me, more life experience as they say. But seriously, this letter is going to be like a shitty excuse for a reply after reading yours. You certainly know how to set the fucking standard. I'm afraid you'll have to make do with perhaps a page and a half of insulting love._

_I might always joke about how old you are Erwin, remind you to take your dementia medication and the likes, but trust me when I say this - you are still the most fluid and beautiful dancer I have ever seen, even with a dodgy knee. Nothing compares to watching such a huge man move with such delicate steps. Anyone else your size would trip and stumble like a fool. You have an inbuilt grace which is evident when we're just cooking or some boring shit like that. Never let any of those fucking toddlers make you feel unworthy, they could learn a lot from you if they weren't so busy trying to look like rock stars or some shit. What are they thinking? Ballroom isn't about that, it's about poise and beauty and technical prowess which you, Erwin fucking Smith, have tons of._

_Enough of the ego stroking, I don't want you to come walking back in with your head ten times bigger, it's large enough._

_And yes, you may tell me how seductive my ass is. Although I don't know what's gotten into you, that letter was pretty much porn by your standards. Not complaining, though._

_My latest instructions from that life-sucking agent is indeed to play the bachelor. I find it increasingly difficult though, because I'm not. Far far from it, Erwin. I know I've been out of sorts recently and I'll be honest - I have no idea why. Maybe I'm having the same thoughts as you. Is it really worth all the hiding and sneaking around like fucking teens? You put into black and white how shit this situation is, perhaps it was the prod I needed to do something about that. Or perhaps you were just drunk, we both know how your sentimental side seeps out after a pint._

_Anyway. What is all that bollocks about my chin? And my sex appeal? Look at me, Erwin. I'm a short ass with an attitude problem which unfortunately you have to deal with as a partner. I am grateful for that though, and I don't say it enough but I do love you._

_Ok, fuck, this is getting way too deep for my soul to take. I need a shit, a shower and a shave. Probably jerk off then sleep. I'll be face first in your pillow the whole time, by the way._

_Oh, and a treadmill for Pix is a good idea. I think his stomach is touching the fucking floor when he walks._

_See you soon. I'll be here tomorrow then leave for Brussels, two days total. I don't know if that works into your schedule? I fucking hate this season._

_Yours_

_Levi'_

~~~~~~

The lights were low, curtains shut, wine poured and a bowl of nuts sat on the coffee table next to Levi's thin letter, one which looked so emaciated in comparison to Erwin's but he'd said all he could, was never one to labour a point more than necessary. Pix purred happily from his curled position on Levi's lap as the man currently acting as a cat bed reached for the snacks, a few popped into his mouth while he waited impatiently. It stood to reason that Erwin would perform last and this tournament was no different.

"The hosts need their money shot I suppose."

It was all they had become really - players to be wheeled out onto the floor for maximum viewing figures. All the younger dancers failed to catch Levi's attention and not just because of bias; they lacked a certain style, lacked presence, lacked finesse. What they did have was stamina, something that never used to be an issue but as Erwin's letter had said, it could manifest into one in the not too distant future.

Levi planned to take advantage then, make the most of seeing his boyfriend perform if his dancing days truly were numbered and as Erwin and Hanji were announced on the TV screen, he applauded with thunderous claps. Pix took offense, skitting away unnoticed to the furthest end of the sofa whilst Levi remained transfixed on the images being played live into his living room.

The dim mood-lighting made no difference, Erwin's hair glowing in a golden crown, perfectly slicked and set, suit immaculate and shoes almost blinding when flashes reflected off the polished surface. There were smiles on his and Hanji's faces, those saccharine ones used for this build up section however Levi knew that in a matter of seconds, Erwin's would change. They bowed and curtseyed to the judges, the audience, prim introductions shared as Hange's deep blue dress sparkled with each movement, her partner's tie and pocket square the exact same colour to ensure they matched.

It was hushed as they took up position in the middle, their frames locked and precise and Erwin stood tall, head straight in line with his spine the whole way down. Levi nodded his approval, right leg thrown over the left and he leaned in, enraptured by simple things such as the way Erwin's coat tails hung. He knew by their stance that this would be a slow foxtrot, instinctively aware - just because they had their personal areas of expertise, it wasn't to say that other disciplines were foreign. On the contrary, both Levi and Erwin had studied and trained in various styles.

The sedate Big Band music began, a croony piece reminiscent of the Rat Pack but played by the in-house orchestra and Levi counted in time, fingers tapping as Hanji tilted her head, Erwin's body angling back and maintaining his stiff posture from skull to ass, foot sliding between Hanji's low heeled shoes. The song paused on an up note, recommencing one beat later and they began to move, gliding in circles around the arena.

Levi twitched instinctively to each well-executed step, stared in awe at the spins and faster journeys across wooden floors, but what held him the most was Erwin's face, a look of joy emblazoned on handsome features and a true smile showing now. He was having fun, as always, no signs of the melancholy in his letter nor the cobwebs of age, simply pure pleasure. Levi blocked out the commentators and made his own, speaking or punching the air in a small gesture when a particularly detailed switch was executed flawlessly.

"That's it, Erwin…two, three...yesssss, that's my man."

Hanji's legs flew gracefully in an arc while Erwin showed no fatigue or effort, as if she were made of paper and the crowd went wild.

"He's moving to the music now...feeling it."

They bobbed and spun, twirled in splashes of fabric which hypnotised all who watched. As the piece drew to a close, Levi realised he'd risen from the couch at some point, on his feet and cheering as Erwin and Hanji parted, gracing the audience with bows and thanks.

"Fuck yes! That is how you fucking do it!"

Levi was smiling broadly, palms numb from applause and he kept staring until Erwin disappeared backstage, hands reaching for his phone.

Oh.

He couldn't send congratulations.

The locked phone was still in the kitchen and Levi picked it up, aware of where the codes were…but something stopped him ans he placed it back, letting go with a sense of surety. He tapped the screen once as if to say 'stay' and turned instead to his letter, adding an addendum in different coloured ink.

_'PS_

_What the hell are you on about? You're nowhere near reaching your peak yet!_

_Just watched your foxtrot and Erwin, if I was there I'd drop to my fucking knees in front of you.'_

 

 


	3. Letter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter by @shippingeruri

"I'm home." Erwin spoke into the dark apartment, although besides Pix's meow there would be no reply. This time he had been able to catch his flight home from Munich but their schedules didn't allow the couple to see one another.

His wet coat was hung up, shoes left on a tray so the mud and water could drip into it. He would be home for not even two days before taking off to Vienna, the home of the Vienna Waltz, Hanji's and his best discipline. It wasn't enough time to get the feeling of being home, of actually relaxing. It would only be one more week until he finally would see Levi again. The tournament in Vienna was one of the longer ones but luckily Levi had no tournament in that time. Then Levi would have to leave the day after Erwin got back here but there would almost 24 hours they could spend with another.

Their schedules had soaked through his mind, a desperate habit to cherish the little time they had with each other. Usually spent with fucking, cooking, cuddling and bathing and then starting all over again.

A husky meow made him smile. “Hey Pix. I bet you've been properly fed already and yet you want to eat like you're burning the most calories while you're sleeping, hm?”, he asked while his hand ran through soft fur, the cat's back lifting as the ball of fur moved under Erwin's touch.

“Let me see if Levi left a note for me and then I'll check your starvation-situation," he breathed out.

His heart rate rose – he wouldn't see Levi now but he was hoping for something, a short note, a new mobile, anything that would somehow give him a connection to his partner.

The lights in the living room were switched on, his heart skipped a beat as his nostrils widened and his eyes scanned the coffee table.

No note.

Pix was criss-crossing between his legs as he wandered over to the sofa, making sure that Pix had not played with a possible piece of paper and it was on the floor now. He went down on his knees and hands, looking under the coffee table, his cheek pressing against the carpet as he scanned below the sofa too.

Nothing but dust.

Pix, obviously irritated by Erwin's behaviour, carefully sniffed on Erwin's hair and then ran towards the kitchen, making quite the odd noises as the man got up and wiped off his knees.

Maybe in the kitchen? With a new mobile?

He gulped heavily, neck feeling uncomfortably stiff as he followed the furry flatmate.

The light was switched on with another skip of a heartbeat and within a split second his eyes found the envelope. Air was released from his lungs with a deep sigh.

“Thank you.”, he spoke as he ran a hand across his face. He had imagined the worst ideas about Levi reacting to his letter and most of them included that his boyfriend would not believe his explanation about the lack of communication.

He eyed the envelope and got himself a beer from the fridge – and while he was at it, and Pix would not leave him a single moment of silence, he got a can of salmon in sauce and filled a fresh bowl before replacing it with the old one.

Eagerly, Pix awaited his meal and thanked Erwin with a high pitched meow.

“There you go.”, he let the cat know and then took the beer and the envelope. He pressed his lips together, thinking about what might be written in there. Was Levi upset about the situation? Was he angry about Erwin's notations on their relationship? Would he comment on Erwin's plans to end his career?

With a deep sigh he let himself down on the sofa, taking a sip from the cool beer before placing the bottle on the coffee table and then opening the envelope. Levi's distinguishable handwriting made him smile already. A bit messy and just from unfolding the papers he could see that Levi was not good at hiding his emotions while writing – some of the letters were quite large or wide compared to others that had been written much faster.

He pulled his legs up on the sofa, positioned the pillows in his back so that he could sit comfortably and began to read.

A hearty laugh filled the living room as he was reading the first lines. Fine wrinkles became visible at the corners of his eyes as he reached for his beer. Levi's voice, the clearly Northern English accent his boyfriend spoke, was so vivid in his head while his eyes scanned line by line, sentence by sentence, word by word, letter by letter. The words on the paper were a true reflection of the way he would have said the exact same thing to his face. A warm feeling spread throughout his body and he wondered why people stopped writing letters.

His smile became more gentle while reading, came back whenever suitable. Heavy breathing alternated with moments in which his heart would almost stop. He felt loved, anxious, happy and insecure – all while reading through Levi's letter that had everything he had hoped for and so much more.

When he was done reading, Pix joined him on the sofa, the fat cat forming a circle between his calves and ass.

“Great, Pix. I need to piss, want to take a shower, get into something comfortable.”, he gently spoke with a smile and gently booped the cat's nose. Big, green eyes looked at him irritated, rough tongue licking over the black nose and the cat showed no intention to move. So Erwin decided to give Pix a few minutes of fondling and reading Levi's letter again, before he would call it a day.

When he was lying in their bed, he read the letter again. Words soaking through, making his heart beat faster and his desire to see Levi even greater. The paper rustled as he placed it on the night stand and took up a note pad and a pen to start writing an answer.

The bedroom was filled with gentle light, steady rain pelting against the shutters. Pix had found his place next to Erwin's legs, gently purring while the blonde man was sitting upright, pillows against the head board and now pulling his legs closer to lean the note pad against.

The words came natural, easy and when Erwin lay away the pen and paper, it was around 1 AM. Pix was sound asleep, snoring peacefully and Erwin eyed the animal for a moment.

His life was good. Although the tournament season and competitive dancing in general were taking its toll, Erwin had a good life. He had a loving and caring boyfriend and besides some issues, his letter gave him confidence that they were able to handle the situation. They had been able to deal with so much already – above all; to hide. It hurt somehow since Erwin was the kind of person that would love to carry their partner on their hands, show their unconditional love whenever possible. Maybe he was too romantic and old-fashioned while Levi was less of the person for a 'classic' relationship.

It had been Erwin who had confessed to Levi back then.

The words were prepared in his mind. No doubt about what to say, how to say it. He was sure about his feelings and his wish to be together with Levi. So when he finally overcame his nervousness, blocked out his fear of getting rejected, it felt great. His heart beat heavy in his chest and he couldn't help but blush while he took Levi's hand and held eye contact with the man he had fallen for.

Levi's facial expression gave away that he was surprised – probably more by the way Erwin had chosen to address his feelings rather than that he did confess. “Stop talking already, I feel the same.”, was his reply after Erwin had ended his monologue and before Erwin could react, Levi was straddling his lap and shirts got unbuttoned.

Erwin breathed out amused. They were quite different in so many things – but this was one of the things he loved about them. Their differences completed them somehow. While Erwin had not been too fond of cleaning, Levi soon made him even enjoy this. The other way round was for cooking – Levi had preferred to order take away or just heat up a frozen pizza while Erwin always had loved to cook. Both things – cleaning and cooking – had become couple activities. But they had to be creative since they were not able to go out like 'normal' couples do.

Speaking of normal... Erwin was not too sure about his mother's reaction if she would get to know about his relationship with Levi. Not because she was homophobic - that he was pretty sure about - but because she always wanted to have a grandchild.

When Erwin and his ex girlfriend had broken up his mother had been very supportive and re-assured her son that he “will find love again” and “the right partner is somewhere out there for you”. Erwin felt bad that she had no idea how happy her son actually was and that he was living together with the man he fell in love with. But there would be a time in their lives when everything would get easier.

“Pix, time to get out.”, Erwin gently spoke to the sleeping cat. “I know you want to sleep here, but Levi will hate me already should he find your fur on his pillow... so don't make this even harder for the two of us.”, he informed Pix while he gently stroked along Pix's back.

Lazily the cat lifted his head, gave a bored yawn and blinked from green eyes. Erwin got out of the bed and gently picked up the cat.

He went to the bathroom again and then set his alarm before finally allowing his body to fully rest.

But sleep didn't come.

His thoughts were all about Levi who would be sleeping in this bed again as soon as Erwin would be gone to Vienna. God, how he missed Levi. Everything about him. With a deep sigh he rolled over to the side, eyes scanning the dark but where usually Levi's silhouette would be, blanket pulled up to his nose – no matter the time of the year – only an empty space was to be found.

His arm reached over as if he was to pull Levi close to him. His hand landed on Levi's blanket, fingers gently running over the soft material and then grabbing the pillow, pulling it close and burying his face in it.

Levi, his beloved Levi. Within a split second he felt his lover and partner near as his eyes closed and he inhaled the all too familiar scent.

~~~

Levi's swiftness was breathtaking as always. Erwin hardly dared to blink because he was afraid to miss something. The cameras could hardly catch up with the impressive speed that the shortest couple on the dance floor presented.

“Brilliant leg work.”, Erwin mumbled to himself while leaning forward on the sofa. He had been out to go jogging, did some groceries on his way back. Then he'd taken a shower and prepared breakfast right in time to sit down in front of the TV. Pix was having his breakfast in the kitchen while Erwin's eggs and toast with bacon and cheese were getting cold on the coffee table. All attention fixed to the screen.

“Yes! Perfect timing!”, he spoke louder after Levi had lifted Petra for an impressive figure that lead to thunderous applause from the audience and even Erwin couldn't help but clap. It was stunning to watch and when the cameras got closer to Levi, he could see the soft shimmer of sweat on his forehead and it somehow turned him on... the only other occasion Levi would start sweating was when they were having sex.

God, how he missed being close to Levi, embrace his body, kiss him all over, taste him, touch and feel him. Erwin couldn't help but realise that he was getting hard. How long has it been? Too long – at least together with Levi. The confession towards the end of Levi's letter, about what he would be doing, had animated Erwin to do the same. And last night, when his face was all buried in Levi's pillow, he'd had a very relieving orgasm.

So why was he getting hard again now? Was he an uncontrollable, hormone driven teenager again? Was is the absence of his boyfriend? The lack of intimacy over the last weeks? Probably a bit of everything – because surely Levi had awoken a kind of sex drive he never had experienced with anyone else before. He'd only had little intimacy with guys before Levi – just some making out and curious hand jobs in his late teens besides getting quite the offers and chances from other dancers – and to discover this 'new' kind of love and physical attraction towards Levi had been awesome. And it still was because it never got boring – if they had sex, which was more of the issue at the moment.

His focus shifted back to the screen, just in time for another marvellous figure that was performed beyond perfection.

Erwin smiled, clapped again and leaned back with a sigh. He would love to dance with Levi. As ironic as it was but they never ever had a chance to actually dance together. A public space would be too dangerous and their apartment was too small for the two of them to actually dance the way Erwin would like to. But maybe he was expecting too much? A slow, romantic dance without moving much around would be nice too. He just would love to be close to the man he was loving while they were doing what they both loved.

The performance ended under standing ovation and wild cheering from the audience, Petra and Levi both presenting an honest, heartfelt smile as they bowed and tried to catch their breath. Levi was beautiful - 'mesmerising' how Erwin liked to call it. One could not look away.

Fuck. Erwin still was hard and seeing the sweat run down Levi's neck now really didn't help. Erwin bit his lower lip, took a deep breath and had a look at the clock. In two hours Hanji and him had to be at their manager's office for an interview, he wanted to be at Hanji's place in an hour....

“Fuck.”, Erwin moaned as his climax was about to take over. His head fell back on the back rest of the sofa and his hand took up speed. Practised, long strokes gave him an intense feeling as his toes dug into the carpet while his chest was raising under heavy breathing, his left hand gently pulling on his balls in rhythm with the stroking motion.

His mind vividly presented him visions of Levi, touching him, kissing him all over. And when in his fantasy Levi moaned Erwin's name... that's when his orgasm rolled through his body. “Shit.”, he gasped as his muscles twitched uncontrollable and his hands held still while he came hard. Deep, satisfied groaning left Erwin's lips as he let himself go with the moment.

It was only after he found his way back to normal breathing that he realised that this had been a mistake. He had no tissues at hand and thanks to the heat of the moment he had been too careless – sperm already had run down his hands and covered the sofa. “Scheiße.”, he cursed in his mother tongue when he realised the mess he had made.

~~~

Before leaving for Vienna, he opened the envelope again, adding another page he just had written, then closing the letter and placing the envelope on Levi's pillow. A vase with a big bouquet of lilies was placed on Levi's night stand and a nicely wrapped box was placed next to it. Fresh, hand made baklava and other Turkish delights from Levi's favourite shop.

The bedroom door was closed – Pix certainly unhappy that his favourite sleeping spot was denied – and another bowl of cat food was prepared for the fluffy animal. “Levi will be with you later today. Take care.”, he told Pix and gave him some gentle petting alongside his back.

When Levi got home and opened the envelope, he could read the following:

  
_'My dearest Levi,_

  
_I'm so sorry I put you in the need for adult diapers – but believe me, you got your revenge. I almost pissed myself from laughing so much about your letter – you are so graceful with words._

_Hanji is nosy, you know that – she suspects 'something' and when I was in the bathroom at the airport, she took the chance._

_I'm orgasmic? Wow. That's probably the oddest and hottest compliment someone has ever told me. I can command other things than the dance floor... just so you know. And also, please know that you letter doesn't have to hide behind anything. It is authentic, unique and a true representation of yourself. I loved it, just as much as I love you and it makes me really happy to read over it, again and again._

_So you think my head is 'large enough'? I'm not sure if you want to suggest that my head is too big already? Do you think my head is off in proportions to the rest of my body? This part made me really concerned.... but thank you for you kind words. It is good to hear that you sense what I want to express and deliver with my dancing. And you are probably right and I shouldn't worry so much about the youngsters._

_Playing the bachelor and pretending to be a couple with your dance partner both is fucked up and I'm relieved to hear that you are on the same page with me in regards of our situation as a whole. And yes, I was drunk when I wrote the letter. Now I only had two glasses of wine, so maybe I'm a bit tipsy. Excuse me if I should drift off to 'porn' and your sex appeal again._

_Since you mentioned that you – I'll quote you here - 'need a shit, a shower and a shave. Probably jerk off then sleep.' while being in my pillow with your face the whole time, I'd want to ask a bit more details? Maybe it's my poor English skills but did I understand correctly that you did ALL of this WHILE your face was in my pillow the WHOLE time? I hope not – you know I'm open minded but some things... well, anyway._

_I hope you had a good shit, a relaxing shower, are free from stubbles and jerked off really well before falling sound asleep._

_In case you should wonder why I'm not telling you that I bought a new mobile; I didn't buy a new one yet. I would have time tomorrow but I have to admit I do enjoy writing letters with you. It makes me feel connected to you on a deeper level. Not that I wouldn't be able to talk to you about all of this as well, but especially since we are in high season at the moment, I really do like to think about what I write. And also... letters are forever. Should we adopt kids one day, we can show them our letters when they ask about our relationship... or maybe not, since it's about shitting and jerking off and me writing porn._

_Anyway, I hope you can cope with my idea of not being able to be reached for a little bit longer? My agent is already about to go crazy and told me he will give me a mobile when we fly to Vienna. But I'll use it for business only – and then get another one for private usage._

_Would you like to order a cat treadmill when you have the chance? Speaking of Pix... I have to confess that while I'm writing this, Pix is sleeping next to me. On your blanket. I know we agreed to not let him in with us, but since it's only me... I thought I'd make an exception. It's nice to have company while being home and you are away._

_I miss you. I really miss you, Levi. I wish you would be here with me right now. But it won't be before next Tuesday that we overlap here – and I can't wait for it._

_Sorry, this will get a bit pornographic again – should you not be up for it, I recommend you skip this part._

_I'd love to eat your ass for hours once you are back. Seriously. I'm missing it more than fucking you. I wanna make you moan and blush and lose it while you somehow pretend you find it disgusting... but in reality you enjoy it. Your cock is always rock hard without either of us touching it. And once I start sucking your cock, it's already dripping wet with precum – so don't pretend you don't like it. I know you love it but you always act so shy and unwilling... that's actually really hot and turns me on even more than 'just' eating out your ass._

_Knowing that you've jerked off in our bed also is a huge turn on for me and just to mark my territory, I'll do the same as soon as I'm finished with this letter._

_Your love is always dangerous, always has been, because you make me discover new things about me that I wasn't aware of before. For example that I could get obsessed with body parts as much as I am. Referring to your chin here... yes, I really do love your chin and I can't wait to drown you in kisses and touch you..._

_Okay, sorry, but I gotta stop here since I have a raging boner now. I'll write more after I've seen you and Petra tomorrow._

  
_Love,_

_Erwin_

  
_Okay, so I before I start to compliment your dancing I have to confess something. Please don't get angry or upset. I bought you lilies and went to your favourite shop to get some treats for you – I hope this will calm you down a bit. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for what happened. I was jerking off on the sofa and was so taken by the moment that I stained the fabric. I tried to clean it, but super sensitive material and sperm don't seem to get along very well. I'm so sorry, Levi. When the season is over, I'll buy a new one – you chose which one you want to have. Please smell at the lilies and eat some of the Turkish delights and I'm sure you'll not hate me as much as you would like to._

_Your performance today was perfect. Your foot and leg work is beyond anything I've ever seen – also from you. Just stunning! Every little detail was perfect, no beat missed, every figure perfect. I'm so proud of you and one day I'll see you live and this will be one of the best days of my life._

_In a small addition: The 'accident' was somehow your fault because I got horny from watching you dance. And I think I discovered that your sweating is also something that really gets me going... it reminds me of our Sundays spend in bed and... you know what._

_I love you and I can't wait to see you again._

  
_Love,_

_Erwin_

  
_P.S.: Don't miss Vienna – Hanji and I have new outfits. Let me know what you think about them in your next letter.'_

 

~~~

  
A re-assuring look from brown eyes and a nod before Erwin smiled and they placed their hands on each others shoulders. “Na komm, zeigen wir ihnen den besten Wiener Walzer, den sie jemals gesehen haben.”, Hanji smiled as she fumbled on Erwin's collar and Erwin brought some space between them. “Wir werden sie sprachlos zurücklassen”, he agreed as the host of the evening announced their entrance.

Erwin's mouth went dry – it happened every time ever since, with the years he only got used to it. He took Hanji's hand and while the audience clapped for them, his breathing went from quick and shallow to deep and controlled. Under bright lights, a spot light directed on them, blinding them for a moment, they entered the beautiful ballroom.

Erwin's mind and body built a perfect unit whenever he entered the dance floor. Hanji's dress – all white and silver with hundreds of Swarovski crystal glasses woven in there – sparkled and left the audience in awe. Erwin wore an all white outfit as well. White, shiny shoes, white trousers, white buttoned shirt and a white coat tail. A silver tie around his neck – it was the first time they showed these outfits in public. With practised smiles and gestures they bowed to the audience and greeted the jurors before taking their start position. A special occasion indeed since this would probably be the last time that they would dance here.

While Erwin had the habit of holding his breath until the music started, Hanji had another tick; her little finger would tap on Erwin's shoulder three times. Never failed to happen in the last 15 years.

And then the music started.

They had avoided to watch the other contesters and just wanted to show their very best while enjoying to dance their best discipline in one of Europe's most beautiful ballrooms. And with bright smiles and perfect postures they moved through the room, figures naturally coming and going, flowing through them like they never had danced anything else or did anything else but dancing in the first place.

Erwin concentrated on the important things; the music, Hanjis's body and Levi. Levi, who always was on his mind when he was dancing. How he would love to do dance with him. Doing what you love with the person you love must be one of the best feelings in the world. And so he put all his knowledge and talent but above all his passion for dancing and his love for Levi, into his performance.

~~~

“Gute Nacht, Erwin. Danke für den Tanz.”, Hanji smiled and hugged her dance partner in the hallway of the hotel.

“Es war mir eine Freude, wie immer, Hanji. Du bist eine wundervolle Tanzpartnerin.”, Erwin let her know and gently placed a kiss on her cheek.

Two rooms had been booked. As always. And their manager had made sure that no questions were to be asked. As always. It was tiring, exhausting, sad to a certain degree.

The press had received hints about their whereabouts – as always – and put the hotel staff on alert to make sure to protect their privacy.

A bag, with his outfit inside, hung over his shoulder. He had showered at the event location already and was wearing grey sweat pants and a matching grey hoodie – no paparazzi would guess that he would be a person of interest.

He pulled out the key card and entered the code to the 4 star suite which was way too big for him alone. But the hotel had a long tradition and the room was beautifully furnished, old and modern perfectly blending in. Levi would have loved it.

 

 


	4. Letter 4

It was like a bad joke, Levi's own version of Groundhog Day destined to repeat over and over again and as the door locked behind him, he let out a lonely sigh of exhaustion. Once more he stood in the apartment, afternoon light sending rays across their shared space and Levi dropped his bags, in no mood to start worrying about creasing the outfit inside - there were plenty more. Heavy feet took him to the kitchen, nothing waiting to be discovered so he made a quick search of the living area, yet again faced with blank surfaces; even Pix hadn't come out of hiding today.

The solitude weighed on Levi's soul worse than it had done before, something about their letter-writing adding a level of romanticism to the whole situation and he stalked through his home, eyes scanning for the prize.

_How long can we keep this up, Erwin? Do you feel the same when I'm away from you? This horrific fucking emptiness? I don't know when it started to be such an issue._

Levi banished that train of thought before it grew into a beast he couldn't control, raw nerves not ready to be assaulted by a dose of good old fashioned introversion.

_Where is it?_

The cat was roused finally, welcoming purrs coming from the sofa and Levi gave a swift greeting in the form of an ear-scratch, mumbled words speaking nonsense. He had a goal which took priority, his quest for contact the most important thing bouncing around a tired and increasingly distressed mind. The days apart hadn't ever bothered him to this extent, an almost feral desire now tugging at his heart and begging to be silenced. Want. Need. Companionship. Simple human requirements perhaps, yet in their line of work it meant that those emotions were muted by duty.

"At least they used to fucking be."

Levi tried to swallow the bitter taste of isolation down, attributed it to being overly fatigued and he focussed on the throb in his heels, each pull of leg muscles acting as physical distraction whilst Levi mentally calculated time. When Erwin returned from this tournament, arguably the most important one in his professional year, they'd have a short while together. Too short. But it would have to do.

A scent piqued Levi's interest and he opened the bedroom door, met by the smell of fresh linen mixed with flowers. He smiled, warmed more by the sight of a letter than the huge lillies on the bedside and Levi rushed to snatch his message, hands feverishly ripping into the envelope.

He sunk to the bed, Pix joining him and Levi didn't even bother chiding the feline, instead welcomed his presence as he began to read. Erwin's conversational air made it possible to take in the very essence of the absent blonde, the lines of neat but heartfelt writing soaking into Levi's retinas and down to his stomach. Knowing that his own letter had been so well received hit Levi in the gut - he'd expected perhaps a perfunctory thanks for his brusque words, however Erwin had enjoyed it. Really enjoyed it.

"Silly fucker."

Levi spoke with kindness and devoured the rest of his note, chuckling at Erwin's misunderstanding regarding the size of his head and Levi's 'shit, shower and shave' activities; sometimes their sense of humour and native sayings didn't quite translate. Even from the moment they'd met, it became clear that every country of the world held personal jokes and colloquialisms, just another reason why they may have clicked - each were happy to explain and expand the other's knowledge.

The absence of any calls or texts had already suggested to Levi that Erwin abandoned his phone for older methods, a fact confirmed in the white pages which he flicked through as if they gave him life. A piece of his boyfriend had been soaked into each line, each scribble, embedded in the very fabric of the foolscap and Levi gulped, cheeks turning pink at the explicit descriptions currently filling his wide silver eyes.

"Holy fuck."

Erwin never spoke dirty, at least not with any confidence, so to be reading such a detailed and smutty account of…

"Shit a fucking brick."

The temperature had been wrenched up and Levi found himself instinctively hiding the letter from Pix before pressing a palm to his crotch, the mental picture of Erwin doing exactly as described hanging in his imagination like it were real. Levi could practically feel a hot tongue at his flesh, searching for ultimate pleasure and he hurried through the remainder of the note, any arousal swiftly morphing somewhat into amused exasperation.

"I'm glad I didn't sit on the damn couch. Only you, Erwin."

Despite his voiced relief, Levi intended on sitting just there very soon, preferably away from stains and he opened the small box, sweet treats revealed. They would be saved for later, snacks to enjoy whilst watching Erwin dance his famous waltz, a routine that Levi adored every single time.

~~~~~~

It would be a few hours before the programme began but Levi was in situ already, the ever-present Pix snuggled against his bare thigh. After a shower he'd eaten an early dinner/late lunch and sat dressed in boxers and a tee, comfort being paramount as aching limbs started to berate him for pushing so hard last night. The pain faded into the background though as Levi stared at a boring infomercial on screen, pen tapped against his lips whilst a blank page lay to one side. His free hand stroked absent mindedly at the cat's fur, an action which would usually result in a well placed bite or scratch for being so rude, however Pix seemed to recognise his owner's mood. Levi was thinking. Hard.

"Fuck it."

He grabbed his phone, brought up sites and checked a few details with a frown, muttering lowly at some of the figures produced by his search.

"Daylight fucking robbery."

Soft expletives followed Levi's journey online and he glanced at the clock, narrow grey slits challenging time to move faster. Not too long now and he would be able to see Erwin dance again, prime time slot booked on the television for his viewing pleasure and Levi closed his eyes, let his head roll back to alleviate the building pressure he felt within his skull. Not long. He needed Erwin. Craved him. What was life without that one person he loved so dearly? An internal debate raged on as Levi argued to himself, weighing up pros and cons, playing out possible scenarios and their consequences. All it did was leave him with an even harsher headache.

~~~~~~

The white glimmering outfits took Levi's breath away, literally, and he held air in his lungs just as Erwin did on the polished floor, two men in tandem. Levi fidgeted with fraught fingers, adrenaline pumping but when the music began he forgot about any fears, lost his soul in the movements which hypnotised him.

Erwin appeared to dance differently this time - whether that was in Levi's dream-like state or in reality, it didn't matter. What mattered was the flow of Erwin's body, his perfect footwork, every spin and quick step, the look of pure happiness on his face…

The audience applauded almost constantly, gasps and cheers accompanying the pair's trip around the beautiful ballroom and Levi joined in, observing intently and hands buzzing from clapping as always. He could taste the atmosphere, felt Erwin's muscles move in his own tired ones and Levi couldn't help but sway in small flicks of his body, unconscious impulses making legs and arms flinch.

Erwin belonged on that floor. Commanded it. Owned the entire room along with everyone who was watching, held their hopes and dreams in one hand with such grace. Should he have asked anyone in attendance at this very moment to kill for him, surely they would do so without hesitation, a hypnotist at work using his body to capture hearts with ease.

Levi didn't know when they'd stopped, missed the bows and thanks and stood oblivious to the passing of time, wholly caught up and blinkered by the beauty just witnessed. His mouth was slightly open, cheeks pink and he managed to spot Erwin and Hanji leaving the floor in measured sweeping steps, the couple still gliding on air.

"Jesus."

His voice was lost in the sound of thunderous appreciation and Levi's legs were rendered useless, an avalanche of emotions welling up inside of his aching chest as all of their relationship spilled out in flashes of memories - something familiar had triggered such recollections and he greeted them all warmly.

The time when Erwin had tried to confess his feelings and ended up with Levi on his lap.

One dinner that went severely awry, over-cooked steak and curdled sour cream which had them laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt.

Erwin's hot breath on the back of his neck, tickling and heavy all at once, lips nuzzling gently into flesh as Levi was driven crazy with every deep push of his partner's hips, combined moans building to a crescendo that spoke of lust and love.

"Not fucking now, dammit."

Levi squirmed, thighs shifting to attain a kind of solace in friction and he glanced around, suddenly coherent and in need of fresh air.

His walk took him slowly but with purpose, thoughts clouded yet refined, people passing him by in blurred colourful shapes. Levi knew what he wanted, what he needed, however the gravity of his plan started to become stifling and doubt crept inwards like a night terror, clammy sweat invading his body.

What was the worst that could happen? Honestly, a lot. A whole fucking ton of shit actually and Levi jittered on the spot, feet pumping up and down while he waited for a signal to change, the busy evening traffic finally halting to allow pedestrians to flow in their own form of rush hour. Levi's face felt numb, increased oxygen levels making his lips tingle and fingers buzz. He was entranced by motivation, keeping to himself in a little bubble, moving his body through the sea of humanity and ensuring common sense was locked out now.

A few members of the public smiled at him, others stared as they tried to remember where they'd seen the short yet imposing man before, confusion turning to realisation and excited pointing but Levi continued onwards, ignored their shouts and adoring words. He was on a mission, wobbly legs taking him across town without thinking clearly anymore. People had spotted Levi, recognised him. Probably wondered why he was here. None of it mattered though, the butterflies in his belly demanding more attention than potential fallout and he came to a halt, looking up at a building that he'd researched already.

_Very fancy._

A small smirk pulled at Levi's lips, more comments passed from nearby.

"Hey look, isn't that…?"

"Shouldn't he be getting ready for…?"

"What's he doing?"

"Shall I ask for an autograph?"

Anonymity well and truly forgotten, Levi turned to the handful of individuals that were gathering a respectable distance away, all seemingly star-struck and most certainly dance fans. He shot them his best crowd-pleasing smile, a well practised expression which came so easy for those in his profession; if he were to shun these people, word would get round and his manager would rip him a new asshole so in order to make the situation less painful than it was already going to be, Levi spent some precious time playing the game of publicity.

Hands were shaken, pictures snapped, paraphernalia signed and Levi maintained his showmanship flawlessly, offering very few words but charming the absolute shit out of those in attendance. Social media would make sure that this little sojourn could never go unnoticed, but Levi found peace taking up residence in his veins, a type of calm discovered now that his decision was solidified. No turning back. Maybe he liked the risk of being found, of being caught in the headlights, or perhaps Levi just simply couldn't help himself. Love made people do reckless things, after all.

He finally escaped, leaving behind a gaggle of very happy fans and likely a trail of snapshots all over the internet, but he had no valid choice - dammed if you do, dammed if you don't, the mantra spinning round his serene mind with a sing-song quality. Levi walked inside, charisma cranked up a notch once more as he approached a member of staff.

The information was surprisingly easy to obtain and Levi stashed that thought for another time as he rode the elevator upwards, one step closer with each passing second. He allowed another smile to spread across his face, a genuine one, and the recorded voice announced his arrival at the correct floor, plush red carpets travelled nonchalantly as if on an evening stroll. It wasn't until he found himself at a particular door that his heart rate increased dramatically, a fist raised also and he took a deep breath, ready to discover his fate.

 

 


	5. Final Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin - @shippingeruri  
> Levi - @zedsdead1001

Erwin sat down on the large sofa and turned on the TV, some cooking show, and set it to mute. He just wanted to find peace of mind, something to distract him from the throbbing pain in his knee. He hadn't even bothered to turn on the lights or close the curtains. His room was on the third floor so the street lights would still give the spacious room a dim glow, easy on the eyes and the mind.

“Fuck”, he mumbled to himself as his hand ran across the aching joint. Luckily the pain had just started after they had left the dance floor but Hanji had noticed right away as his pace had slowed down, a hushed groan leaving his lips.

He'd need to tape it for their performances tomorrow and probably take some painkillers – although he would try to avoid the latter. He wanted a clear head when dancing, focusing on the very moment and feeling his and Hanji's body clearly.

He would have to wait and see how the knee would be doing tomorrow.

His focus shifted back to the TV and a soft chuckle left his throat. They were preparing plum pudding and it immediately reminded him of his failed attempt to prepare said dish once.

His first Christmas together with Levi. Although he always had been a good cook, he was so nervous to prepare this very traditional British dish for his very British boyfriend, that he mixed up the salt and the sugar and the result tasted …

A knock on the door ripped him out of his thoughts.

It was around 11 PM and Erwin had discussed all details for tomorrow with their manager and Hanji already – who could that be?

For a moment he considered ignoring the knocking. The day had been long, exhausting and he would have to get up quite early. Also, the chances for an unpleasant encounter with paparazzi or the press would be quite high.

But before he realized, his legs had brought him to the door. He took a deep breath, as his hand got a grip on the door handle.

For a second he just stared at the smaller man. No reaction given away but a lazy blink with his eyes as he slightly pulled back his head. Was this his imagination? Why on earth would Levi show up here?

Dark eyes looked up to him, distinguishable facial features that he hadn't seen live in a week now made his heart beat faster immediately.

"Hey Erwin."

“Shhh! Get in here."

Levi found himself being pulled bodily into the spacious hotel room, a large hand caught on his shirt front that yanked with perhaps a little too much force. His feet struggled to get up to speed, arms out for balance and when Erwin released his hold, Levi spun and pinned him with a serious yet confused glare. The taller man paid no attention though, simply peered through the hole in the door to check for any witnesses.

“Did someone follow you?”, Erwin asked hastily as he couldn't avoid the almost paranoid behaviour while he closed the door and locked out the world.

This act caused Levi further annoyance and he crossed his arms, waited for his turn whilst examining Erwin's attire - the sweats were such a difference to how he'd last seen his partner, in a sparkling and crisp white suit, however this to him was the real Erwin. Levi's ire abated slightly and when wide blue eyes met his own narrow gaze, the original tirade he'd planned came out ten times softer. 

"I thought you'd had enough of hiding, Erwin?"

Erwin's eyebrows wandered up, lips parted slightly.

“Yes... you're right... but it's not … I mean, this is just something I do without thinking further about it. So yeah... you're right. But...”, Erwin stumbled through his words, his brain still trying to catch up with the whole situation. “What are you doing here? Why are you here?”, he finally asked after he had taken a deep breath. Heart rate not getting better but more controlled. The words sounded harsher than he intended, as if he was accusing Levi but before he could take them back, his lover already spoke up.

"Honestly? I don't know. I was going to write another letter but I thought hey, fuck it. Why not spend nearly four hundred euros instead and fly over to see my boyfriend? Show him some support?"

Erwin gulped heavily as Levi's words left his lips. The words cut sharp as paper. Levi wanted to receive appreciation for his visit and yet so far, all Erwin gave him was the blunt question what he was doing here and no thankfulness, no caring gesture. 

The bite to Levi's words had crept back in, something about the defensive nature of Erwin's posture making his throat constrict and he easily slipped into using venomous snipes. Erwin had been on the receiving end of this many times in the past, usually knew when to diffuse or fight but this situation had him at a loss. 

“I'm very happy to see you, Levi. You've caught me off guard and I'm surprised to see you.”, Erwin's voice was low and concerned. “I would never have guessed that you'd forget about all the risks we try to avoid? Don't you see that this was – and probably still is – quite dangerous? Not that I want to complain to see you but what if someone saw you? How did you even know where I was stayi-?”, the questions came naturally and Erwin interrupted himself.

Now was not the time to argue. Not after their last live encounter, not after the letters they had shared. And above all Erwin was actually very touched by his boyfriends surprise visit. Erwin's jaws were pressing together as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I'm happy that you are here, Levi. Let's not argue.”, he suggested with a gentle tone, licking his lips after the words had left them.

Levi sighed, black hair spilling down over his face as he looked to his feet, shuffling them awkwardly. He'd made himself a promise, vowed to do whatever it took, yet here he stood habitually starting another confrontation. He grit his teeth, grinding them together and cursing internally as his fists clenched into balls where they lay inside dark jeans pockets. Levi knew this was a turning point, a chance to start over and if he didn't take it, that one regret would haunt him forever. 

It took all of Levi's nerve to speak again and he checked his tone, stare lifted to lock with Erwin's waiting gaze. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Levi…I didn't want an apology…", Erwin's eyes widened.

"But you deserve one. Lots, actually." 

They remained in silence, only their emotions hanging thickly in the air and Levi didn't falter, kept his eyes steady to demonstrate that his first ever apology was genuine.

Erwin's heart rate was out of control, the beating muscle pounding loud against his chest as the blood was rushing through his ears. Did Levi just apologise? An upright apology?

This was unreal. While they stood in the dark entrance of the spacious room Erwin actually got his first real apology ever from his boyfriend. Not one of those muttered 'Yeah, alright' that Erwin would get after they had an actual argument and Erwin was the one to set an end to it by saying sorry.

His boyfriend flew all the way here to surprise him and yet they managed to end up in misunderstandings and poorly expressed words a minute after they saw each other. But Levi was the one apologising now – and it had a great value for Erwin.

A soft chuckle left his lips and he breathed out while a smile crossed his face. He loved Levi and besides their problems going on at the moment, today he loved him more than probably ever before.

“You're unbelievable.” Erwin spoke gently before a heartfelt laugh filled the room.

"What?" Levi had expected a gruff dismissal or terse words, not giggles and he tilted his head in wonder - when was the last time he'd heard that sound? "What's so funny?" 

Despite not being in on the joke, Levi found the corners of his mouth turning up against his will, a smile fighting to exist and it won, laying small yet significant on his face. 

"It's…well Levi, you have to admit it's a bit amusing. Spending four hundred euros to come here and have an argument.”

They both found the funny side, Levi's tense form relaxing with a huff of laughter and Erwin beckoned him over, the pair reunited earlier than scheduled. Levi curled into the warmth of his partner, found solace in flesh and clean smelling clothing as he breathed in deeply.

Finally feeling Levi's presence, his body, his heat, having him close, took an enormous burden off Erwin's shoulders. His hands wandered over Levi's arms, getting hold of his body, fingers digging into the fabric, hands moving over Levi's back.

Erwin felt whole, completed, loved. His muscles started to relax, heart beat returning to – more or less – normal.

His nose was running through Levi's hair, nostrils widened as he inhaled Levi's scent. Better than the faint remains of it in the pillow. A peaceful hum left his lips before he placed a gentle kiss on raven hair.

"I missed you, Erwin." 

"Me too."

They stood joined together for a while, only the distant sound of traffic to accompany their embrace and Erwin ran his palms across Levi's back in soothing motions, the shorter of the two pressing his cheek to a solid chest to glimpse the beat of a lover's heart. His own raced in comparison, glad that his face was out of view as he began to mutter softly. 

"You were stunning." 

"You watched? Here?", Erwin's mouth went dry.

"Mm hmm." The couple swayed ever so slightly, rocked one another for comfort and Levi linked his hands at the small of Erwin's back. "I'd forgotten how fucking amazing it was to see you in person." 

"I'm glad I didn't know, Levi. I'd probably have messed up my steps.", Erwin spoke with a smile.

"No chance. You've got a gift, old man." It was as complimentary as Levi could get when speaking out loud; letter writing added a sense of safety whereas real voices seemed so bare and instant, the chance of disastrous screw-ups more plausible so he changed the subject, hoping that Erwin understood. "Why is your room so fucking huge?" 

For a moment Erwin let the words sink in. A compliment wrapped up with an undeniable fact. He was getting old, his knee being the living proof that his body no longer could keep up with the pace of his lifestyle. But what was more important to him, was that he had Levi by his side. Right here, right now. With kind words, showing support and being who he was, raw and pure.

“Thank you, Levi.”, Erwin spoke softly. “The room was not my choice - although I have to admit I like the furniture and it smells really good. Also it has big windows.”, Erwin commented. “Our manager thinks that he needs to impress someone with these suites. If not Hanji and me then at least the hotel staff. I think he just wants to show off.”

"Don't they all." 

"How's Pix?"

"Hungry as always. I left him with enough food to last a month. Felt guilty for abandoning him." 

A soft chuckle left Erwin's throat as he imagined Pix managing to eat all of the food within an evening and being unable to move. "We'll buy him a new toy as a peace offering." Erwin didn't want to break the moment, used the limited space he had and glanced around. "Where's your luggage?" 

Levi flushed, hiding in Erwin's tee with embarrassment. 

"Forgot it." 

"Huh?"

"It was all a bit spur of the moment, ok?"

Despite the fact that Levi had always been the more impulsive one of the two, Erwin found it pretty amusing that his organized boyfriend, that didn't like using other people's things, actually left in such a hurry that he would arrive here without anything more than himself. But it was fine, it was perfectly fine. Erwin didn't need more than Levi now. Just Levi.

“What is with you? I've never seen this side of you. But I like it.”, he smiled and placed another gentle kiss on his lover's hair as he closed his eyes and his hands pulled Levi closer, arms wrapping around tighter. 

The silence was broken again, Levi's uncharacteristically meek tone still sounding like gunshots in his ears as he steeled himself, ready for the truth.

"Are we good?" 

"Yea Levi. We're good." All of the physical lines and sentences recently shared didn't need to be discussed, they'd always remember them and what had passed between the pair and Erwin whispered into dark hair. "Tell me that you love me." 

"I love you." 

Erwin's chest swelled, lungs hitching and he couldn't swallow, something in the heaviness of Levi's husky, cracked voice making his soul both weak and strong all at once.

“Good.”, Erwin breathed out as hands moved, practised methods turning fluid and he placed one at Levi's waist, the other on the nape of his neck whilst the swaying motions morphed into larger and familiar steps. 

Levi followed suit instinctively, feet gliding so that the two were spinning slowly to their own beat, unheard music stark in their minds and lips smiling softly in the dark room. Street lights and signals lit them in balmy hues, flashes playing across skin and fabric, running up expensive wallpaper and well polished floors as they swept lazily to one side, any technical prowess now forgotten - this dance was not one to be scored, not one to be scrutinised or viewed by the public, purely a natural waltz to the tune of love, the synchronised beats of their hearts and nothing more. 

Their bodies flowed beautifully together, close at all times and Erwin led them into a languid spiralling step, soles sliding back and forth as the two men twirled around the over-sized room, lifted and at peace in what was often a fraught and exhausting existence. Levi shifted his position, one hand on the base of Erwin's spine and they adjusted in symmetry, mirroring one another as free grips joined to the side, fingers intertwined in what was most certainly not tournament-acceptable. 

That fact hit them at once, airy laughs following the liquid way they danced with abandonment, let loose and allowed to express themselves for the first time. Levi nuzzled into Erwin's chest, planted slow kisses before raising his head, their eyes shimmering and full of the night's sky, vast and deep. 

"Why do you get to lead?" 

"Well," began Erwin, dramatically dipping Levi towards the floorboards. "First of all; I am the bigger one." He placed his mouth on the tip of Levi's nose, earning a tut and they returned to an upright position, gliding calmly by the large glass window. “And second; you told me, I am 'commanding that dance floor'. And while this might not be a ball room, we are dancing … on a floor.” A gentle smile crossed his face as he led them to a halt.

His heart was beating faster again as he became painfully aware that this was the first time they were actually dancing together. And it was wonderful, almost unreal whilst feeling so natural. His chest widened as he pressed his lips together for a moment. His hands found their way to Levi's face, gently cupping his chin. Eyes locked as Erwin leaned in.

Lips gently brushed against another, hot breath touching skin and with a desperate whisper, Erwin spoke: “Kiss me, Levi.”, before he united their lips and his eyes closed naturally, embracing the very first kiss for a week.

Levi let out a moan of gratitude, the strained sound of someone who had suddenly become whole and his mouth pecked and searched at Erwin's lips, the pair melting into one another with practised ease. It felt different though, felt like their first time and Levi's stomach flipped, butterflies taking up residence in his gut just as they had done five years ago. Before it could become heated, Erwin took Levi's bottom lip gently in his teeth and drew back, leaving the shorter male in a daze of lust.

“You're wonderful, Levi. And by coming here, by surprising me, you helped me make a decision.”, Erwin declared as he brought some space between them and placed his hands on Levi's waist again.

This would be a tough one – but he wouldn't want to decide this on his own. He wanted Levi to know and to agree. They were together, a couple, they shared one life while still having their own. So with a deep breath he gulped away his fear of speaking out what his first letter already had hinted at.

“I'll quit professional dancing.”, his voice was a bit shaky as he continued. “I'll dance through Vienna and then... that's it. I'll tell Hanji tomorrow and our manager when I'm back in Amsterdam.” For a moment he held his breath, wanting to give Levi some time to adjust to his plans.

“I don't want to hide anymore. I don't want to hide you, my feelings for you or the love that we have. I want to be coming home to you like any other normal person comes home to their partner. I don't want to lie anymore. Not about my relationship with Hanji, not about my opinion about you towards the press, not to my friends and family. My father raised me to be honest, to speak up.” Erwin's voice became more steady and calm, his thumbs running gently over Levi's shirt.

“You are the man that I love, Levi. And I don't want to hurt me or you or our relationship with this hide and seek. I'm searching to find myself but all I find is you. All the life paths that I see for myself are at your side. So I'll quit this shitty business and come home to you, only if you agree on it. I don't wan-”

"Erwin, I get it. You're too old for this shit and you need a way out." Levi's silver eyes flashed with mischievous intent and he squeezed at Erwin's sides. "I agree on one condition."

Brows were raised as Erwin waited for the punchline, the couple starting to sway side to side once more.

"And that condition is?", Erwin held his breath for a second, eyes widening, unsure of what to expect.

"All the cooking. Cleaning. I need a good housewife." 

"Oh really?" 

They shared a playful smirk and Erwin dipped in for another kiss, more forceful this time, taking Levi's breath away. Any remnants of their soft waltz crumbled to ashes and hands became urgent, searching for bare flesh underneath clothing. Erwin pushed the jacket from Levi's shoulders, instantly tugging at his shirt whilst their mouths worked together in noisy hums of appreciation, tongues hot and starved of attention. The week apart felt like a whole year, as if they'd been unable to sample such love for so long and Levi pulled grey fabric, feverish clawing motions desperate to rid Erwin of the garment. 

He succeeded, tossing it to the side before basking in the glory that was Erwin's chest, squeezes and strokes praising the man's skin which Levi needed to feel beneath his touch. He kissed insistently, flicking his tongue across pink nipples whilst slipping his hands down Erwin's loose sweats, making his partner groan loudly.

Erwin's body was shivering, heat spreading while Levi worshipped him and the taller one couldn't avoid an aroused moaning that left his lips while his eyes closed for a moment. His hands desperately ran through Levi's hair, down his neck, finger nails gently scratching, demanding more.

"Levi...I love you." 

The response was a swift grab and Erwin found himself now standing naked to his ankles, feet rubbing to kick the pants away. Levi's shirt was next, then denims and boxers, the fastest either had ever undressed and Levi sunk to his knees, fist wrapped tight at the base of Erwin's erection. He stared up, half-lidded shards of grey taking note of the rapid rise and fall of his Erwin's chest, the open mouth and wide eyes. Absolutely gorgeous. 

"Jesus, Erwin." 

Levi growled and leant in, licking a slow stripe over hard flesh to the tip, his other hand bringing Erwin closer with a pull to his ass. Levi swallowed what he could, the high pitched sigh from above making his own cock twitch with anticipation. Seven days. It had been an eternity and Levi intended on making good use of the extra time together. 

Erwin's right hand was gently scraping against Levi's scalp while his left was placed on his shoulder, feeling the muscles move. In disbelief he stared down, lips parted while Levi had his way with his throbbing erection.

“Fuuuuck”, he gasped, nails digging into skin as Levi swallowed him, the wet and heat of his boyfriend's mouth welcoming him. His head fell back and his body jerked. How long had it been? Not that long actually, yet it felt more intense than it had done in ages.

Erwin bit his lower lip, tried to focus on Levi again as he lazily opened his eyes – for a second realising the wide window next to them and the inevitable question: can anyone see us? But before his brain could properly process possible answers, Levi got his full attention again. His body was thirsting for the appreciation he was receiving, craving Levi's touch and heat.

Erwin's toes tightened and he let out a desperate moan. “Easy”, he breathed heavily as he stared down to Levi – aroused and in disbelief. 

Erwin composed himself, returning Levi to an upright position and spinning him gently in his embrace, lips tracing over the short undercut now presented to him. They shuffled slowly to the sofa and Erwin spoke lowly into Levi's ear, smile tickling at his lobe.

"I meant what I said."

"What…what part?" Levi had his eyes closed, thoroughly caught up in desire and ecstatic to have the familiar heavy sensation of his partner behind him, so blissful that the sudden movement startled his nerves. "Hey!" 

He was on his front, elbows on the couch cushions and knees set wide apart on the arm rest, at an angle which left him fully exposed. Erwin looked down kindly, holding Levi's hips and he bent forwards, hot breath promising so so much while in return he received Levi's scent with each inhale.

"This part, Levi." 

True to his word from a recent letter, Erwin knelt and held Levi's cheeks apart, heart beating fast at the prospect of being allowed to do such things again. Levi dropped his head to the sofa and called out with pleasure as Erwin's heated muscle lapped hungrily, relieved snarls from the blonde telling of how much he really did enjoy this.

Levi's toned yet soft body felt too good to be real. Every twitch of his muscles let a shiver run down his spine. The sweet sounds Levi was giving away were captivating and Erwin wanted more. His fingers dug into Levi's flesh, gently massaging, exposing the centre of his attention and giving his tongue and lips enough space.

He was craving Levi, his body, his taste. Erwin's own cock was bouncing against his abdomen while he was eating Levi's ass, wandering all the way up and down, moving, building up pressure as needed, nibbling at the sensitive skin before drowning it in saliva and gentle kisses again.

Erwin couldn't control his breathing or his sounds. Levi's presence and the intimacy they were sharing took away his last senses and he lost himself completely in making sure that his boyfriend would adore this. It gave him so much mental and physical stimulation.

The inside of Levi's lids sprung up with bright stars as shallow breaths were driven from his lungs, pants and moans filling the hotel room and he clutched the couch covers, toes curling with his approaching orgasm. 

"Fuck…Erwin…don't stop…please…" 

He managed to move one arm from under his body, took hold of his own length and started to rub fervently, voice cracking in loud cries. Erwin ceased abruptly, sitting back on his heels much to Levi's distaste and he watched his partner grumble and squirm round to slump back on the sofa, red cheeks and blown pupils speaking volumes. 

"Not yet, Levi. We've waited too long for this to be over.", Erwin spoke with husky voice, lips and chin covered in saliva, cheeks flushed crimson.

Erwin joined Levi, flopping down and he held a hand out, helping the smaller man climb onto his lap, pale thighs straddling tanned ones. 

"I won't last, Erwin." Levi peppered kiss after kiss on Erwin's neck, making it as wet as his own chin, moisture spreading from where he'd been laying with his mouth open and Erwin sighed, hold strong on Levi's hips. "You're too fucking good at that." 

"Thank you..." Erwin let his skull drop back, eyes rolling as Levi took his erection again, fast pumps applied. "And you're…shit…good at that." 

Erwin was at the mercy of Levi's hand and for a few seconds he allowed himself to fully appreciate the situation. Eyes closed, hips moving with Levi's grip while as deep, aroused moaning left his lips. No lube was needed, precum being spread with every stroke. Levi knew how Erwin liked it and before he could get lost too much in the receiving position, he licked his lips and placed his right hand around Levi's erection.

His hand ran along the length of the hot flesh, building up pressure, gently letting his lover feel his finger nails before the palm of his hand smeared wetness all over. Passionate and attentive, he made Levi's body shiver while they were jerking each other off.

Their deep tones reverberated throughout the living area, bodies moving instinctively into one another's fists and Levi wriggled, lifting back slightly before forcing Erwin's touch away. The larger male was too taken by the moment to be able to protest.

"Let me be good for you then, Erwin." 

Levi gripped onto a strong shoulder, the other hand working them both, cocks rubbing together under his quick motions and he stroked his thumb rhythmically across their tips. 

"Holy ffff…Levi, Levi…oh god", Erwin moaned with quick breaths and placed his hand on Levi's neck.

Erwin reached round, fingers seeking out Levi's entrance and he pushed gently, applying bursts of light pressure that elicited a mewl of delight from his boyfriend. 

"Oh fuck…yes. Yes…Erwin?" 

"Huh?", Erwin asked with wrecked voice, his eyes half closed, the heat in his body making it hard for him to focus on Levi's face.

They could barely draw air now, hips grinding into Levi's grip and Erwin found himself on the edge of sanity, blue eyes staring in lust under heavy lids.

"Come on me, Erwin. Please…" Levi changed angle, pointing them up towards his stomach, his own gaze observing closely. "Please…"

"Ohhhhh god, Levi…" 

Their words turned to groans, syllables called out in fractured gasps and while Erwin still tried to comprehend the situation, sort his thoughts, his orgasm took over. His nails dug into Levi's neck, right hand now clutching a hold of Levi's thigh. The sensational feeling that Levi was giving him with his hand and body was breathtaking and Erwin's head fell back for a moment, his lungs desperately trying to catch some air before he came hard and animal-like.

Erwin's muscles were jerking, cock twitching, jaws pressed together before he forced himself to look into Levi's beautiful face. With a desperate “Fuuuuuck” he let go, finally able to breathe again, moaning lustfully, pulling Levi's head closer and fishing for his lower lip, sucking on it, biting it and uniting their lips for a heated kiss while electricity ran through his body.

Levi felt the warmth on his skin, felt each drop that slid to his fist and he couldn't hold on any longer, his climax arriving whilst Erwin was still in the midst of his own, their figures tensing up in tandem as the rich sounds of pleasure added a sensual level to their peaks, a partner's enjoyment becoming theirs to share. 

The flicks of Levi's wrist slowed, drawing their orgasms out for as long as possible and he unravelled, muscles relaxing and rendering him incapable of staying upright any more.

Erwin felt the strength and tension fade from Levi's body and while he was exhausted on his own, he clung his arms around Levi's shoulders, pulling him close.

“I got you.”, he whispered, still breathless as his touch ran gently across Levi's back, caressing sweaty skin. For a minute or two they just enjoyed the closeness, hearing one another breathe and feeling the proximity.

“I love you.”, Erwin whispered with a smile and placed some kisses on raven hair.

That night they lay together, naked beneath the sheets and tangled in a mess of limbs. Levi drew circles on Erwin's stomach, the occasional flinch making him smirk and he sighed, cheek practically stuck on Erwin in order to hear every heart beat. 

"Are you sure, Erwin? Retiring is a big deal." 

Erwin pressed his lips together for a moment, jaw working hard before he was able to swallow.

“I know.”, he agreed as he started to run his fingers through Levi's hair absent mindedly. “On the other hand, my life... our life, will be much easier and this is more than I can ask for at the moment. My knee is getting worse and although today might have been one of my best performances, I'm not willing to put my health at risk. Why would I?”, he gulped heavily. “It's the best for me – and probably us – if I end this now.”

"I suppose. But Erwin? Don't forget our deal."

“I won't.”, Erwin smiled and cleared his throat before he spoke with a high pitched voice. “Welcome home, darling. How was your day? Did you show that lecturer that he's wrong and his opinion is old-fashioned? I made some minced lamb and there's Guinness in the fridge. The football match is on channel three and I shaved my whole body for your pleasure. The kids are staying with friends so we can do whatever we want.”

Heartfelt laughter filled the room and Levi punched Erwin softly in the side.

They fell asleep minutes later, satiated and as one, their relationship solidified by a snap decision to take an expensive flight.

~~~

“Erwin. You are... that is... what on earth?”, their manager was boiling mad while Hanji and Erwin were preparing for their final dance. Some prints from the internet were thrown towards him.

“What the fuck? Erwin! What's wrong with you?”, their manager demanded to know.

“Obviously I'm gay? And it looks like someone took advantage of the huge windows of that ridiculously large room?”, Erwin lazily let his eyes wander over the prints. He had already seen them this morning while he and Levi had ordered room service for breakfast. “I think I look kind of hot in this one.”, Erwin commented with sharp voice as he pointed towards one of the prints.

“That's not funny, Erwin. You've disappointed me.”

“Oh really? When exactly did I disappoint you?”, Erwin wanted to know, his eyes now narrowing, his body moving closer to his manager. “When I was winning contest after contest, year after year, together with Hanji for almost one decade? When I was out there dancing while you were fully aware of my knee problems? Getting worse because I'm always giving 150%? While I was giving the press what they fucking wanted? When Hanji and me faked being the perfect couple besides the fact that we always were like siblings? When I did everything YOU wanted and not caring about myself, my own happiness, my partner?”

“Wait... this was not just some call boy?”

“No, it was not 'just some call boy'.”, Erwin declared decisive. "And I'm pretty amused that you haven't figured out yet who paid me a visit. Try getting in contact with PR, they're probably already freaking out.”, Erwin grinned and Hanji casually pulled out her mobile with a smile.

Their manager grabbed the device and his eyes widened.

“He met some fans while on his way to visit his boyfriend. Isn't that sweet?”, Hanji asked casually.

“No... nonono. Don't tell me that you've been together with that arrogant little bastard all this time, have you?”

“I'd prefer that you, who doesn't know shit about my boyfriend, called him Levi. Because that's his name. And yes, we've been together for a few years now, actually living together.”, Erwin stated.

Their manager stared, not knowing what to say, how to react.

“Oh, and since you're here, this will be my last competitive dance performance. I'm quitting. I'm not letting you or this business ruin my passion for dancing and above all, I won't let anything come between me and Levi”, Erwin declared.

Without another word, their manager left.

“I'm proud of you.”, Hanji spoke quietly, placing a hand on Erwin's shoulder.

~~~~~~

Lights flashed, outfits shimmered and teeth were shown in wide smiles to the gathered audience, Erwin receiving a louder than usual ovation when he bowed graciously. Everyone in attendance knew this had been his last dance, professionally at least and the crowd went wild at his and Hanji's unprofessional but understandable hug. They shared words, only heard by each other and Erwin gulped back the tears which threatened to flow, his sudden retirement announcement having been thankfully well received. 

In amongst all of the applause, hidden behind the bouquets of flowers that rained down upon the pristine floor, nestled back in the fifth row stood Levi, arms pumping and hands clapping with enthusiasm. Erwin caught his eye, two wet gazes locked together forever more and Levi nodded once, smile broad and wider than Erwin had seen before. That's when he wept. Not through sorrow, but relief and contentment.

 


End file.
